You hate the idea of him. And so: you will cook something richer and more unusual than you ever made for him. Something with a delicate exterior that is too precious for him. You will use ingredients that, just like you, will soon be hard to find: Zucchini Blossoms. Today is the last day of summer.
A friend gave you a box of some on Saturday. You’ve been reading about them in cooking magazines (Italians call them fiore di zucchini) and you’ve been too nervous to purchase them yourself. You are so glad to have some now – gifts, experiments, things to feel proud of, perhaps ruin, without regret. Soon you will have to confront those questions you’ve been asking yourself all this time like: (1.) fried or steamed? (2.) stuffed? (3) served with what? (4.) red or white?
While at work you search for Zucchini Blossom recipes on the internet. You sneak to Barnes and Noble and see what Mario Batali has to say. Some recipes call for eighteen flowers and others, twenty. You count eighteen in your mind. If there are others, you say to yourself, they will make fine decoration.
You invite your friend Cedric over for dinner. He is going to help your ex boyfriend move into a new apartment (ex boyfriend just moved back to Brooklyn) and then you call your best friend from high school. She chooses you over a ‘gossip girl party’, whatever the hell that means.
There will likely be a third guest because someone always drops by to watch you like a cooking show, and you decide to prepare your eighteen flowers in three different ways, leaving six blossoms from each recipe for each person. This is way too much, and you are glad, because having too little would make you feel cheap and then your friends would dish out sympathy. No, you’ve got plenty and don’t need anything from anyone.
ZUCCHINI BLOSSOMS THREE WAYS
*Make sure to remove the pistols from the flowers before you cook with them
1. Six Stuffed and Steamed (Sweet)
what you’ll need…. ricotta cheese, pine nuts, black currants, purple basil, fleur de sel
what you’ll do…… (1) Boil water in a double boiler on the stove. (2) Check to see if your flowers are clean, if not, gently rinse them in cold water. (3) Mix cheese, nuts, currants, and salt. (4) Fill up a large ziploc bag mixture and snip off a corner (like a pastry bag). (5) Squeeze cheese mixture into the flowers (3/4 of the way full) and then pull the petals back up and tie to keep closed. (6) Place stuffed flowers on top rack of the double boiler. (7) After about six minutes, arrange on a heated plate and drizzle with olive oil and extra pine nuts. Place a leaf of purple basil on each blossom.
2. Six Battered and Fried (Salty)
what you’ll need…. club soda, flour, Herbes de Provence, anchovies, sea salt and pepper, oil
what you’ll do…… (1) Check to see if your flowers are clean, if not, use a damp paper towel to wipe of dirt. DO NOT RINSE WITH COLD WATER. (2) Whisk flour into club soda to a thick, cream-like consistency. (3) Add a pinch of salt and pepper to the batter, plus Herbes de Provence as you like it. (4) Dip flowers in batter until fully coated, then rest on a plate. (5) Heat oil in a fry-pan, you’ll know its hot enough when you drizzle extra batter into the pan and it starts to fry. (6) Place flowers in the heated oil and let them fry until golden, turning them over gently once to make sure they cook on both sides. (7) Drain on a paper towel and sprinkle some more salt on top.
3. Six Baked and Savoury
what you’ll need…. 3/4 cup Parmesan cheese, 2 Tbsp. breadcrumbs, 2 garlic cloves, olive oil, chopped walnuts, 1 small zucchini
what you’ll do…… (1) Drizzle olive oil in two ceramic dishes for baking. (2) Check to see if your flowers are clean, if not, gently rinse them in cold water and lay on paper towel to dry. (3) Mix the grated Parmigiano, breadcrumbs, walnuts, and minced garlic together in a bowl. (4) Lay zucchini and flowers in the ceramic dishes, make sure they’re covered in oil. (5). Cover zucchini and flowers with dry mix (not too thick) and then drizzle a bit more oil on top. (6) Bake at 200ºF for about ten minutes, or until the crust is slightly brown.
You just conquered your first culinary fear. Now serve your blossoms with fresh bread and a golden ale (preferably Belgian).
